Human Crossing’s next couple is Olivia and Ben, whose relationship is a true testament that long distance can work.
Olivia is currently in her fourth year in Queen’s Commerce, while Ben attends Wilfrid Laurier University. We at Human Crossing are very grateful that he was able to join us for this interview, as Ben had to call in via Facetime and speak extra loud to be heard over the ambient noise.
As these two don’t attend the same university, we at Human Crossing were curious as to how they met.
Olivia: “Alright babe, you got this one.”
As Ben explains, he and Olivia have actually known each other for practically as long as they can remember.
Ben: “We never really specifically met, like I don’t remember meeting you, maybe it was in the middle of the playground somewhere?”
Olivia: “Yeah, it’s hard to say because we didn’t actually meet, we grew up together…at some point in high school, we just realized we liked each other.”
Ben: “Our first date was at The Keg.”
Olivia: “It was never like a ‘meeting and that’s how we started dating’ thing, we just kind of always knew each other.”
Having known each other from such a young age, it was a bit challenging to for them to determine their first impressions of each other.
Ben: “Oh geez…um…I thought she was a goody two shoes, and I thought she was smart and pretty. That’s about it.”
Olivia: “Thanks. Um…I’d say, like, what was my first impression of you?”
Ben: “Don’t be too mean now.”
Olivia: “Ben was a hockey player and obviously a good looking guy, I just didn’t know too much about him. He seemed really cool, but I thought he was like a ‘hockey player,’ I don’t know how else to describe it. I just thought he was really awesome.”
Prior to getting romantically involved, Olivia and Ben were friends for quite some time.
Olivia: “I never really thought of him as more than a friend for the longest time, no offense Ben. One day, I just realized that I did like him as more than a friend.”
The couple’s favourite memory so far has been travelling to Italy together, since Olivia was already in the Netherlands for exchange during the winter semester of her third year. Ben really enjoyed getting to see Amsterdam when he first arrived, but loved exploring Rome with Olivia even more.
Olivia: “Ben came to visit me when I was on exchange. He originally booked his flight for right after his exams, but his exam schedule got changed and one of his exams got pushed to later, so he told me that he might not be able to visit… But, he ended up coming and we travelled to Rome and Portugal.”
Since they don’t attend the same university, distance has been the biggest challenge Olivia and Ben have had to overcome. The pair obviously has a great deal of experience with long distance relationships and the challenges associated with maintaining them, since they tried out long distance during their first year of university, broke up for a year, then got back together and have been going strong ever since.
Ben: “It’s harder to date someone when you don’t see them regularly. We just keep Facetiming…Olivia likes when I text her every ten minutes, so I just keep texting and I try to be nice. That’s all I really try to do.”
Olivia: “Distance is definitely something that’s definitely been a huge challenge, for sure. So much happens at your own school that your lives start to drift apart, without you even realizing it. It’s important to make sure you’re putting in the effort. At the end of waiting two or three weeks or months or however long it takes to see them, it’s so worth it. You just have to keep the communication going.”
When they are together, they love to spend time indulging in sushi and wine nights while watching horror movies. It also appears as though the couple got bitten by the travel bug after having such a great time visiting Rome and Portugal last winter, as Olivia reveals that they are currently planning their next trip together to Southeast Asia for after graduation.
Olivia: “We’re super pumped, we just have to book our flights now.”
Both Olivia and Ben had some great advice regarding long distance relationships and making them work.
Olivia: “Communication is key. If something bothers you, say it and don’t keep it in. That’s a huge thing about communication in general. If you get into an argument, don’t pretend you’re not mad if you are, but don’t keep arguments going.”
Ben: “Just let a lot of the little arguments go.”
Olivia: “Yeah, let the little things go, especially with long distance. Either the argument will never be resolved, or it will take weeks and you won’t be able to fix it. Make sure you don’t keep anything from them – just don’t keep secrets.”
Real talk, if you are about to go on exchange and you're stressing about maintaining a long distance relationship with your bae for the first time... just check out our friends at Study Abroad Memo for their 10 Tips to Survive a Long Distance Relationship.
Even if it doesn't work out, well hey, at least you tried, right?
(Jk. Relationships take serious work and effort from both parties. We understand that this can be difficult, especially while on exchange, so just remember to do some self-reflection and make the right choice for you!)
- Love, Human Crossing
p.s. If you are interested in learning more about how other Queen's alumni are doing...check out our friends at The Limestone Era. (They even feature the iconic Professor D. J. McConomy!)