Taking a page from QU Confessions (@queensuconfesses), we decided to do a bit of research and ask students on campus if they had any funny, saucy, or scandalous tales…You’ll never guess what we found out. Here are some of our best campus confessions series (personally, we had a hard time believing #24).
1. “Hooked up in a tent, with a guy from RMC, at a sporting event away…”
--2nd Year Commerce
2. “My then-boyfriend and I tried to get intimate in every building on campus…we did it in the engineering building, the varsity locker rooms, the business building, and in between the library stacks.”
--3rd Year Bio
3. “Did it on the couches in a residence common room, not going to say which one…it really just looked like we were spooning.”
--1st Year ArtSci
4. “Got to second base in the movie theatre for a movie we had both already seen…got so many dirty looks…whoops!”
--1st Year Eng
5. “One time at the club, I peed in my onesie…kept dancing though and took someone home ;)”
-- 2nd Year Commerce
6. “Had a threesome at a team party…practice after that was awkward…”
--1st Year Eng
7. “Went home from the club with a Kingston local…didn’t realize they still lived with their parents until I ran into his mom downstairs the next morning…as I walked downstairs in the nude.”
--3rd Year Commerce
8. “Not about me, but about my housemate…thought I was home alone and was cooking naked in the kitchen, then the house started shaking. Pens rolled off the table, the window pane was rattling…it was just my housemate and her boyfriend getting it on. Ran into my room pretty quick to put on some clothes.”
--3rd Year English
9. “It wasn’t anything I did, but one night I brought a guy home and was making out in the kitchen when my housemate walked out of her room to grab water. Scared her a LOT. We went back to my room and starting "making love." My two housemates then played cat noises on YouTube outside of my room. The guy was confused, to say the least.”
--Anonymous
10. “My housemates play cow noises outside my door whenever I bring a girl home.”
-- 2nd Year Eng
11. “To preface, I’m a girl who recently came out…I drunkenly made out with my best friend (who is a lesbian) on her birthday…”
--3rd Year Arts
12. “My girlfriend and I snuck into a random house on homecoming to *nap*…the bed was comfy.”
--4th Year Eng
13. “I was about to leave from my friend’s house party and had to go into a room to grab my stuff. Turns out one of my best friends was hooking up with someone on the couch right on top of my stuff. No full nudity, but almost... I felt so badly but I ended up having to just sneak in and reach under them. I don’t think they even noticed! They probably thought it was just the other person.”
--2nd Year Kin
14. "Brought a guy home. The next morning my housemates piled into the room and the guy was still half naked in my bed. My housemates wouldn’t leave. Didn’t stop him from coming back though."
--3rd Year Con Ed
15. "We met on Tinder while I was back home for winter break from The Castle. We had steamy hookups constantly the entire winter break. This year when I got to Queen’s I found out he had transferred here. He acted like he didn’t know me until one night at Stages... where he got SUPER familiar suddenly expecting us to hook up 'like old times.'"
--3rd Year ArtSci
16. "In first year, I hooked up with this guy and he left his wallet in my room. Before returning it to him the next day, I swapped our laundry cards because mine had less than a dollar left. Turns out, his had even less :("
--3rd Year Artsci
17. "A guy made a custom T shirt about an inside joke we started through tinder conversation, he bought two shirts, and drove 60km to deliver my shirt to me. So now I have a hot pink shirt that says “fuck the Ming dynasty” and that creepy guy’s number blocked on my phone."
--Anonymous
18. "After inviting my now boyfriend home for the first time, I meant to pull my house keys out of my pocket but accidentally pulled out a thong I stuffed in it from laundry earlier that day #awkward"
--Commerce Year 4
19. "Went on a date with a guy I matched with on Tinder. We kept hooking up and seeing each other, however, I was super busy and was not really feeling it. He was super clingy and if I was busy (which I was, it was exams) he would bombard me with texts and snaps and everything possible. I finally told him I wasn’t feeling it and didn’t want to continue seeing each other, and he showed up at my house and rang my doorbell for 15 minutes while my housemates and I hid in our kitchen hoping he’d leave so we could get in our cab to the train station without having to talk to him. LOL."
--4th year Life Sci
20. "I’ve been hitting on girls for my housemates on Tinder, Snapchat, and text for the last three weeks. The result has been fruitful for my housemates. However, the people getting hit on have developed feelings for my respective housemates...which has put everyone in a bit of a bind. If you’ve been feeling a little let down by your Tinder hookup lately, I may be at fault. Sorry, not sorry, my wheels spin too fast."
--Commerce
21. "So my girlfriend at the time and I were over at her house watching TV. One thing led to another and we were on her couch making out and whatnot. She was left home alone for the entire weekend so neither of us were worried about being walked in on since her brothers were both away at their respective universities and her parents were on a weekend long trip. A while goes by and oops! Our clothes are on the floor and we’re having ourselves a time. Suddenly we start hearing noises from upstairs... we don’t really think too much of it because it might be coming from outside or something like that and either way it shouldn’t bother us so we keep doing our thing. We hear the front door open. The house alarm goes off for a second and then is stopped. Absolute silence as we both are just lying there naked too scared to move. We’re both thinking the same thing. Somebody just broke into the house. Somebody just broke into the house. Somebody just broke into the house. What the hell do we do now? I imagine logical people would probably have put their clothes back on and maybe called 9-1-1 or something. We just kinda laid there, both too scared to move or make a sound. Suddenly we hear the guys footsteps getting louder and louder. He was walking all around the main floor of the house. He walked around the kitchen for a bit, into each of the bedrooms, the living room, everywhere. And then suddenly we started hearing him freak towards the stairs leading right to where we were in the basement. He started down slowly. We saw his shoes and his legs making their way down the stairs very carefully. We’re both freaking out at this point and have no idea what’s going to happen. I thought I was gonna die right then and there. We couldn’t see his face but he could definitely see us. And suddenly he called out to us. “If my sister’s still a virgin I’m okay with this...*silence*.. by the way, surprise, I came home to visit...” and he walked away. It was her fucking brother."
--1st Year Commerce
22. "Had sex in a Goodes breakout room. Bam."
--4th Year Commerce
23. "I slept with my TA for an entire semester and he changed my friends grade and not mine. Rude."
--Second Year
24. "During a drunken mistake of a hook-up, I *sexily* pushed the guy back towards my single res bed, but he lost his balance and proceeded to literally bash his f***ing brains off of the post of my headboard so hard that he instantaneously vomited all over himself and me. Covered in whatever remnants of the fish dinner he ate (the smell is horrifying), I tried to make sure he hadn’t actually died by quickly bending down towards him on the ground. My heel caught in a particularly slippery chunk of vom and I fell DIRECTLY onto his head. He screamed in pain as I landed face down in the puddle of yak on the floor. I swear to god a little bit got in my mouth. Naturally, I threw the fuck up all over us, now double-coated in pain and puke. Without even 2 seconds of hesitation, my door comes flying open! My good Samaritan floor mates thought it was me that had screamed. I shit you not, a hoard of at least 8 people were peering in my door at this ungodly sight. Frozen in disbelief, everyone then erupted in uncontrollable fits of laughter. The hook-up, perhaps shocked, probably concussed and certainly embarrassed as f***, snapped into reality for a fleeting moment and, on essentially all fours, crawled out of my room and then ran (or staggered) off into the night, never to be seen again. I hope he’s alright, but more so, I hope he remembers the most ridiculous hook up he’s ever had."
--Anonymous
Now, dear readers of Human Crossing, if you're still with us...we congratulate you. If you were one of the anonymous people to submit to a story, thank you, you brave soul. (If you need some relationship advice, check out our friends at The Recipe!)
-Love, Human Crossing